Insaf

6 April 2015
Monday

One of my good friend passed away on 27 December 2014. I cried buckets since then. I wish to spend more time with her and tell her things I wish to tell. She's a dear friend to me. Towards the end we knew that she's not well but not aware that her condition was really bad for she hide the fact that she had cancer from us. We were always chatting in our Whatsapp group and we really missed her when she stopped writing to us. We actually knew that she was sick but caused by some other factors.

When I received a call at 10pm that night, from her number and her daughter is the one talking, I instantly knew that she's no longer living in this world. I've been dreading for that moment, but it came nevertheless.

That night itself we planned to go to her kampung in Pontian. I can't wait to see her, regardless of the fact that she had gone to another world. I just need to see her for the last time. And seeing  how pale she looked, almost yellow I can't help but cried and cried.. and cried. We stayed until she was buried and we contributed some moneys and passed it to her husband. I touched Ammar's head before we left and I cried again. Can't help but remember how arwah  always said that Ariana is her menantu, for her son Ammar.

I still cry whenever I remember her. I cried writing this. Sesungguhnya life is so fragile. And we are just waiting for our turn. I will recite the Al-Fatihah everytime I can. May your soul rest in peace Yaya. World is a cruel place to be.. your suffering has come to and end.

I started to think of what I want to do before I go. What to prepare and things I want to do. One of which is I want to start mengaji Quran again. Learning the tajwid and all the works.

I had prayed in front of the Kaabah in 2013 that I want to learn to read the Quran. I can read but  never feel confident that I am doing it right. And Allah maha besar dan maha penyayang. My wish was granted when my friend found an ustazah willing to teach us, from the very beginning. From Iqra' 1 to Iqra' 6. And we recently (2 weeks ago) moved to Quran.

I am happy learning the Quran with the ustazah and my friends. There are 11 of us in the class. I used to wonder whether I am able to continue week after week considering the class is on Saturday morning and we had lots of thing to do on weekends. But I am still going strong after 3 months, and I hope it will stay that way.